From the Author: Another Milestone of Self Doubt
As I mentioned to everyone before, I am currently three chapters ahead of all of you. This was partly because I had three chapters written when this idea struck me, and also partly due to the fact that it gives me a much needed emotional safety net. That safety net is being put to the test today. I just finished Chapter XXX(and no, it's not that kind of chapter) and I kind of hate it right now. So now I find myself in the position of deleting it and starting over or in the position of just staying the course and seeing where this takes us.
When I started this experiment, the only plan/outline I really had conceived of was our main character and her job. I had a very vague sense of the thematic overtone and how I wanted it all to end, but had no plans on how to get there. So all of the surprises to you (and I mean all of them) have been surprises to me as well. This story is telling itself at this point and I'm just recording it as it speeds by in my brain.
Today, though, I don't really like what sped by. I think it might be a meandering sidetrack of a plot point that won't lead anywhere. Worst, I fear it will actively derail the rest of the story. So, here I am wringing my hands and playing a game of Chicken with myself. Who will give first, me or the story? Will I let Chapter XXX stand or will I blow it up and try again?
I am going to let it stand, and this is why: I don't know what I'm doing. This story and the characters within it have taken control. If I pull the plug and stop listening to them now, who's to say this whole thing doesn't fall apart? I've trusted them this far, and they've given me some compelling stuff. To blow it all up now seems counterproductive to this whole process.
So when you get to Chapter XXX, just know this is when the author spent a large portion of his day sighing and ringing his hands.
And really, really hoping this all pays off.
When I started this experiment, the only plan/outline I really had conceived of was our main character and her job. I had a very vague sense of the thematic overtone and how I wanted it all to end, but had no plans on how to get there. So all of the surprises to you (and I mean all of them) have been surprises to me as well. This story is telling itself at this point and I'm just recording it as it speeds by in my brain.
Today, though, I don't really like what sped by. I think it might be a meandering sidetrack of a plot point that won't lead anywhere. Worst, I fear it will actively derail the rest of the story. So, here I am wringing my hands and playing a game of Chicken with myself. Who will give first, me or the story? Will I let Chapter XXX stand or will I blow it up and try again?
I am going to let it stand, and this is why: I don't know what I'm doing. This story and the characters within it have taken control. If I pull the plug and stop listening to them now, who's to say this whole thing doesn't fall apart? I've trusted them this far, and they've given me some compelling stuff. To blow it all up now seems counterproductive to this whole process.
So when you get to Chapter XXX, just know this is when the author spent a large portion of his day sighing and ringing his hands.
And really, really hoping this all pays off.
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